We’ve got pigtails. That might seem like small potatoes to you, but it’s a huge milestone for my daughter. My nearly four-year-old daughter finally has hair long enough to pull back and do all those cutesy things you can do with a little girl’s hair.

It’s not that Mila couldn’t grow hair before now. She was just pulling out her hair on one side. It was an annoying stage, and I thought it would never end. The hair pulling began when she was 18 months old, just as those baby locks were beginning to grow out. I was horrified to find her holding clumps of hair in her tiny little hands and so frustrated that I couldn’t do anything to stop it. In a matter of weeks, she was nearly bald on that one side of her head. Picture super adorable Michelle from Full House on one side and Sinead O’Connor on the other. I had to cut Mila’s hair on the longer side to try to even it out.

I called my child’s pediatrician for help. “It’s just one of those stages that will have to run its course,” he said, adding that over the years he’d seen some kids go completely bald from pulling out their own hair. Those were crushing words for me to hear and accept, especially since I wanted an immediate solution for the issue. What? There’s no medicine to make this all go away. His only bit of advice was not to make a big deal about it, or the hair pulling could become an attention seeking behavior.

It’s hard to keep other people from not saying things though. I can’t tell you how many times in a checkout line I’ve wanted to smack someone in the head with my supersized diaper bag for making insensitive and rude comments or offering unsolicited advice.

About six months into the ordeal, I briefly took Mila to occupational therapy. I saw no improvements with the hair pulling, and when this therapist started giving me some mumbo jumbo about buying a scented spray for $20 that would make Mila feel less stressed, I was done. A second (and I’d say more sane) occupational therapist confirmed that therapy wasn’t going to help. “It’s probably just a stage she’ll out grow,” she said. Ugh! There was another “It’s a stage” speech.

I chuckle to myself when I hear a parent say, “I’m ready for this stage to be over.” I’m finding that parenting any child is full of little stages, and some are more frustrating, strange or embarrassing than others. I think these stages are God’s way of teaching us patience and how to love and accept our children for who they are… silly quirks, little imperfections and all.

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