Last weekend I went to Wal-Mart with Mark and the kids. Trust me. You’ll want to read this. All great stories follow a sentence about going to Wal-Mart.

Our quick stop (or what should have been a quick stop) into Wal-Mart turned ugly. Mark and I made an unwise decision NOT to detour the toy aisle. Eli quickly spotted some cars from the Disney Cars movie, which began a 10-minute standoff. He was determined to leave with a car, and I was determined to teach him that he wasn’t going to get what he wanted.

I played the Santa card on him, but he wasn’t willing to be a patient boy and wait for Old St. Nick to bring him a new car. Realizing that no amount of reasoning would work, we told him goodbye and kept walking. He quickly ran after us screaming and crying, creating a huge scene and garnering many stares from everyone around us. Yeah! I’m now a member of the unruly child in Wal-Mart club. I’m surprised Wal-Mart doesn’t sell a bumper sticker with the slogan.

We quickly made our walk of shame through the store to the checkout line. Eli whined and pleaded to go back to the toys the whole way there. “I want the cars. I want to go back right now,” he emphatically said.

It was a horribly embarrassing situation. I’ve never experienced my son completely losing it in a store like this. Finally, I’d had enough of the dramatic display. I left Mark, Mila and Siler in the checkout line and marched out to the parking lot with Eli.

He quickly developed limp leg syndrome in the parking lot and refused to walk to the car. With Hulk-like strength, I scooped him up in my arms and continued walking to my minivan. Now Eli was wailing at the top of his lungs. An elderly woman in the parking lot shouted, “Stop that crying, honey.” As if the tantrum in the storm wasn’t enough humiliation, I now had an audience in the parking lot.

I sat Eli in the car and told him in a stern voice that his behavior was unacceptable in the store. Suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I swear I’m not making this up. The elderly lady was behind me. “Do you mind if I talk to him?” Honestly, I froze and was speechless….much like Taylor Swift when Kayne West stole her microphone at the VMAs. Was this really happening? I promptly reminded myself that all things bizarre are possible at Wal-Mart.

“Now, little boy, you need to stop that crying and carrying on like that. You need to listen to your mama when you’re in a store,” she said.

By this time, Eli’s eyes were watermelon-sized. I could tell he was perplexed as to why this strange woman was talking to him. The little grey-haired lady continued, “I want you to be a good boy from now on and stop this nonsense. And if you can’t, well, your mama is going to pop you on your behind.”

To be honest, I was just relieved that she didn’t tell me I was a bad mother. Then I thought maybe this was what Eli needed— an outsider calling attention to his behavior and scaring him into obeying his mother. What a lesson!

Then came the wildcard. The lady reached into her pocket and handed Eli some pocket change. “Now, here’s some money. Maybe next time you can buy a toy.”

What? Was she crazy? Here goes that teachable moment. Now my son has learned that he can throw a tantrum at the store and then get paid for it in the parking lot. “Oh, really. You don’t need to do that. He can’t take your money,” I said. Instead, the gray-haired lady turned her back and walked away.

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